Monday, 10 January 2022

Do We Need A New Pronoun?

It has been said that English is one of the more difficult languages in the world. I don’t know if that is true or not, but as one who has dabbled in several other languages over the years, I think it is true that English has some interesting quirks. Then again, in one way or another, I think it is safe to say that the same is probably true of most (if not all) languages.

I am reminded this morning while sitting in my father’s library of one of his many jokes. He used to say that, in the interest of simplifying the English language, he had developed a new pronoun. This new pronoun was suitable for use in virtually every application, regardless of gender and regardless whether we were speaking of animate or inanimate objects. In short, his new pronoun was perfect, not just for those for whom English is their native tongue, but also for those for whom English is a second or third language. Who knows, but perhaps by helping to eliminate some of our language’s confusion, one day Dad’s suggestion could even become the new politically correct.

What is it? It is quite simple and ingenious and works like this:

First, we borrow the S from she.

Second, we insert the H from he.

Finally, we conclude by adding IT.

Now why didn’t our English forefathers think of that? It would have made life so much easier!

“A well-developed sense of humour is the pole
that adds balance to your steps
as you walk the tightrope of life.”
-attributed to:William Arthur Ward


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