Sunday, 12 September 2021

The Other Side of the Campaign Trail

While walking down the street one day, a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the gate.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a politician around these parts and we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem,” says the MP. “Just let me in.”

St. Peter replies, “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the MP.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules,” replies St. Peter. And with that the MP is escorted to an elevator and he goes down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians he had known throughout his political career.

Everyone seemed very happy and in formal attire. They all ran to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce  about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the common people. They played a friendly game of golf and dined on lobster and caviar. The champagne flowed freely. The MP was surprised that even the Devil was actually a very nice guy, enjoying the dance floor and telling jokes. Everyone was having a good time, and before he knew it, he was back on the elevator on his way back to Heaven. He is once again met by St. Peter who says, “Now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

As the next twenty-four hours pass, the MP joins several contented souls, moving from cloud to cloud. They sing, play harps and also seem to be having a good time. Finally St. Peter returns and says to the MP, “Well, you have spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now it’s time to choose your eternity.”

The MP takes a moment to reflect and then replies, “Well, I would never have said it before. I mean, Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.” So St. Peter bids him farewell and escorts him back to the elevator that returns him to Hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and the MP finds himself in the middle of a barren land covered in garbage. He sees all his friends and fellow politicians dressed in rags, picking up and bagging the trash as more and more continually falls from above. The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t understand,” cries the MP. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse. We ate lobster, caviar and drank champagne. We danced, told jokes, and had a great time. Now there is just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The Devil looked at him and smiled. He replied, “My son, yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.”


Beware of ice cream promises.
They melt after the election.

Caveat: Source unknown. A version of this non-partisan joke was forwarded to me in anticipation of our Canadian federal election, September 20, 2021. It is not original to me. Politically correct? You decide. Peace.

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