1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731) 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202) 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.
Well there you have it; five steps on how to leave the planet. You're welcome. I ask just one favour; do send me back a postcard via inter-galactic mail as to how it worked out for you. Alternately, leave me a comment in the comment box. I'm sure most planets and star systems have Wi-Fi. Bon voyage.
😉😉😉
Photo Source: Lars Lundqvist; Flickr Creative Commons
'How to Leave the Planet' Source: Douglas Adams; 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'
Caveat: No drugs or alcohol were consumed in the creation of this blog post (Ha, Ha).
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