Friday, 13 March 2020

How to Leave the Planet

Ever thought about leaving planet Earth? No? Me neither, but I did come across a little quip as to how one might be able to do so, if one were so inclined. For those of you who have thought about it, you may want to try following these five little steps:

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731) 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.

2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House - (202) 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.

3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.

4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.

5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

Well there you have it; five steps on how to leave the planet. You're welcome. I ask just one favour; do send me back a postcard via inter-galactic mail as to how it worked out for you. Alternately, leave me a comment in the comment box. I'm sure most planets and star systems have Wi-Fi. Bon voyage.

Photo Source: Lars Lundqvist; Flickr Creative Commons
'How to Leave the Planet' Source: Douglas Adams; 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'
Caveat: No drugs or alcohol were consumed in the creation of this blog post (Ha, Ha).

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