Thursday, 22 November 2018

of Red Shirts and Yellow Pants: A Day on the Galleon

A very nervous first time crew member says to the skipper, "Do yachts like this sink very often?" The skipper replied, "Not too often. Usually it's only the once."


Once upon a time, many, many years ago, a Spanish captain was walking on his ship when one of his solders rushed up to him and exclaimed, "An enemy ship is approaching us!"

The captain replied calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier ran off and got the captain's red shirt.

The enemy ship came in closer and soon heavy rounds of gun and cannon fire were exchanged. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the Spaniards won the battle.

The soldier approached the captain and said, "Congratulations, Sir, but I have to ask; why the red shirt?" The captain replied, "If I had gotten injured, I wouldn't have wanted my blood to be seen, as it most certainly would have caused my men to lose hope."

Just then another soldier ran up to the captain and said, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replied, "Go and bring me my yellow pants."

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Saturday, 17 November 2018

The Health Benefits of Beards?

"Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there!"
Minnie Pearl

I've been bearded most of my life. When I got married almost 40-years ago, I was bearded, and other than a couple of very brief periods since then (when I apparently lost my mind), I am bearded still today. When people ask me about my beard, I've often answered something to the effect of, "I wear a beard for religious purposes. I figure that, if God gave me the ability to grow a beard, He must have meant me to have a beard." Makes sense to me.

Once when I gave that explanation at a family gathering, an uncle retorted, "God also gave you the ability to father hundreds of children, but He probably didn't mean for you to do so." Fair enough, but as he himself was suffering from beardlessness, I realised that he wasn't likely able to understand these deeper religious mantras, and so I left the subject alone.

Yes, I am being a little facetious. 😉

It would seem now that there is another very good reason for men to exercise their God-given ability to grow and wear a beard … health.

According to a study published in the Journal of Hospital Infection, beards contain a type of bacteria which apparently promotes the development of important antibiotics. The study tested facial swabs of 408 bearded and beardless hospital staff. The results? Beardless men were more than three times as likely to be carriers of Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus (MRSA), and ten percent more likely to suffer from food poisoning and respiratory illnesses than their bearded brothers.

Well there you have it. In other words, beards may actually help to promote men's health.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Sunday, 11 November 2018

Lest We Forget ...

Armistice Day

The final day of the First World War, or as it was also known, the Great War. The eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month, one hundred years ago today, November 11, 1918.

"The war to end all wars," a term said to be originally coined by H.G. Wells and used by several others since, was clearly utopistic. Unfortunately, the "war to end all wars" had not succeeded in ending war after all. A few short years later, the world would be at it again, followed by a plethora of still other wars.

Some might argue that we're at the brink of yet another global war. I hope not, yet when we look back to the earliest of ancient history, this "sin" does seem firmly rooted in our DNA. Will we ever learn to truly live at peace with one another? Will the guns ever truly go silent?

So today, on this Remembrance Day, I am taking time out to remember. In honour of my wife's parents, who both served in the Canadian military during WWII, and in honour of all others who also served, I take time out to say, Thank You. But I also take time out to pray for the day that mankind will not just remember, but also remember enough to never to let it happen again. Peace.

Lest We Forget …

Saturday, 10 November 2018

Your Politics May Be Broken If ...

"Reader, suppose you were 
an idiot. And suppose you were 
a member of Congress. 
But I repeat myself."
~Mark Twain


Though I try very hard not to get caught up in its drama, I must confess that sometimes I do get bugged by what I perceive to be the stupidity of politics. I mean, really; what the sh*t was that?! Case and point, this from the recent US political landscape …

In one state's recent elections, 70% of voters apparently voted for a candidate that they knew was … wait for it … DEAD! Yup … DEAD! Stop, and let that one sink in for a minute. Hmm.

Your politics may be broken if …

As I delved into this weird polling booth story a little further, it would seem that in this case, the Republican party encouraged their supporters to vote for the dead candidate rather than cast a ballot for the opposing Democrats.

Sorry, but if I were to be just a little facetious in reading between the lines, I would have to wonder if they were suggesting that a Republican corpse would be better able to support the local constituents than a live Democrat. Ouch! At the risk of sounding too simplistic, is that what was being implied? It certainly sounds that way, though in all fairness there's no doubt more to the story. The more likely truth is that the Republicans were simply trying to force a by-election rather than accept a default Democrat win, since it was apparently too late to get Dennis Hof replaced on the ballot after his recent death. OK, fair enough.

Still, I cannot help but chuckle at my former facetious explanation. Vote for __________. After all, what's life got to do with it? A bit of a double entendre there. What do politicians really know about life, and specifically, the lives of those of those they supposedly represent? The only time there is any semblance of pseudo-caring of constituent's lives is at election time. Even then it's questionable. But whatever the motive, it all sounds shady, underhanded and shyster-ish. Hmm.

Your politics may be broken if …

Ironic? Maybe, but if the shoe fits ...
Ultimately I guess it really doesn't mater what one's political persuasion is; ALL politicians have their own political blunders and agendas on their resumes, and the truth of the matter is, one will NEVER completely satisfy all voters anyways, no matter how hard one tries. In the end, as someone has so eloquently stated, one has to vote for the "lessor of the evils." Unfortunately, voting for the "lessor of the evils," is still voting for evil.

Maybe it is time to completely abolish party politics. Maybe it's time for real regional representation that is free to vote in favour of their constituents wishes rather than those dictated by the party leader. Maybe it's time that we re-evaluate and re-think our so-called democratic systems, which of late seem almost more like dictatorships than democracy. Maybe it's time that we stop kidding ourselves and stop voting for dead men, be that literally or figuratively.

Just my two-cents worth. End of rant. Peace.

See Also:
The Friendly Dictatorship?
I Vote For: "None of the Above"
Democrazy: Is it time to re-think this whole Democracy thing?

First Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Friday, 9 November 2018

I Love Cuddles, Especially from a … Cow?

Something in the way she moos, attracts me like no udder lover.
(Sorry, I couldn't resist)


One of the weirder stories I read online recently, has to do with … cow cuddling.

Yes, you read that right.

Apparently one of the latest fads that is supposed to be good for us and help with our stress levels, is wandering out into a farm field and getting cozy with … a cow. Hmm, I can honestly say that the thought of this has never crossed my mind before. Cow cuddling? I guess as with all things in life, to each their own.

Now, I'm not suggesting that I am totally against cow cuddles, but I usually prefer to wait until mine comes off the grill or out of the smoker before getting intimate with it. I especially get excited when it's accompanied with mashed potatoes and gravy. Yum! I wonder if after the $300, 90-minute session, they send clients home with a few steaks? After all that cuddling, a guy's bound to be good and hungry. Hmm.

For more of this bizarre fad, see also:
Business InsiderMountain Horse Farm

First Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
Second Photo Credit: Unknown (via Facebook)

Saturday, 3 November 2018

Share a Coke with Will

Woo-Hoo! I won the lottery!

Well, not quite, but I did find a Coke with my name on it. That's more than I can say for ever finding a winning lottery ticket. So I guess in a sense, I'm still a winner.

Yes, I am a Coke fan. Not the diet sugar-free varieties with their artificial sweeteners, but good old fashioned, real sugar infused, Coke. I'm not into the so-called No Name colas, such as Pepsi (with all due respects to Pepsi fans; sorry, I couldn't resist a friendly little poke. LOL). As Richie Sambora is quoted to have said, "At the end of the day, if you're going to buy a can of Coke, you want the real thing." I couldn't agree more; why simply settle for less? Coke fan? Maybe that's too soft a term. Coke snob is probably more apropos.

When I discovered the Coke bottle with my name on it in our workplace cafeteria, a coworker mentioned to me something to the effect that she will never find her name on a bottle of Coke. I used to think that too. But as it turns out, for all you fellow Coke fans/snobs who still cannot find your name, Coca-Cola apparently has a solution. If you visit their online store at, you can order your own personalized bottle of Coke, be it with your name, favourite sports team logo, or almost anything else. Also, if you're still struggling to find that perfect Christmas gift for that hard to shop for person, here's an idea. You're welcome.

So here's to finding that beautiful bottle of Coke, made even more beautiful with my name on it. "Share a Coke with Will?" Why, yes, I think I'll do that. Oh, and by the way, lunch today just became that much more enjoyable too. Cheers!

"The Coke bottle is a masterpiece of scientific, functional planning. In simpler terms, I would describe the bottle as well thought out, logical, sparing of material and pleasant to look at." - Raymond Loewy