Saturday, 9 June 2018

Help Wanted: The Perfect Side Job?

While scrolling through a social media site the other day, I discovered the perfect side job:

Generic Father Figure for Backyard BBQ.

That's for me, I thought! I can do this! Why didn't I think of this before?!

I absolutely LOVE cooking outdoors, be it on the smoker, a charcoal grill with a little hardwood to provide the smoke, or even old-school over the trust old fire pit. I'm not much into gas or propane grills, however. Yes, I'm a "Foodie" junkie.

Back to the job ad.

Prerequisites include: Generic father figure (though not by blood, over the years I've been "Dad" to many - totally generic); knowledge of the operation of a grill, ability to drink beer, ability to use generic names instead of real names (perfect, since I struggle remembering people's real names anyway, and beer is but 'mother's milk' for me); ability to talk about "Dad things" (easy-peazy; Dad jokes are a part of my repertoire; and as a grandfather, all the more so); a minimum of eighteen years experience as a father (I've got over 30); minimum 10 years grilling experience (been grilling since before dirt was invented); hot summer days with "a" nice cold beer (here we may have a problem; I may want more than just "a" nice beer); preference given to applicants named Bill, Randy, or Dave (my name is "Will" which is close to Bill, so I should be good).

The only problem is, the job doesn't pay in money, but rather in food and beer. Well what the heck; there are more important things in life than working for money; food and beer is good.

Now it said that this was a "real ad," which then begs the question, "Where/how do I apply?" Spokane is not that far away. A little road trip might just be the icing on the cake.

To Whom It May Concern: Please find attached my resume for:
Generic Father for Backyard BBQ.
As it turns out, it was quite the party. See here for the awesome conclusion.

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