Wednesday, 20 January 2016

Fresh Breath Bandit?

Every once in a while one runs into a story that makes you sit up and say, "Hmm." My wandering through the news headlines this past weekend brought about another one of those strange "Weird-O-Meter" stories that I just couldn't pass up.

It seems that a burglar in a community north of Toronto broke into a drugstore, not once, but twice. No, he didn't raid the drug counter, as one might suppose would happen in a drugstore heist. He raided the candy aisle, and more specifically, the chewing gum section. He allegedly loaded up his heist in a garbage bag, left the store, and promptly came back in for another gleaning, filling a second bag before exiting into an awaiting taxi. The value of the stolen chewing gum exceeded $1500.

Now, a caveat is in order: I do NOT endorse or promote any criminal activity whatsoever. However, and I don't know about you, but it seems to me that if one were so criminally inclined as to take a chance on committing a theft felony, you would 'maybe' do it with a slightly more valuable item. One doesn't (logically) rob the local Safeway store of chewing gum; at today's prices, one raids the meat aisle. If you're going to commit the crime and break into a drugstore, where do you suppose the valuable items are? The gum aisle??? I mean, if you're going to risk the very high likelihood of getting caught and receiving that criminal record and jail time anyways, why not make it worthwhile? Or am I missing something here? I mean, isn't that a bit like a bank robber holding up the bank for it's supply of Post-it notes, all the while leaving the vault and cash drawers untouched?

That's the way I see it. Maybe he was just after some fresh breath. Hmm.

Anyways, you can read the full story here.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

My New Weight Management System

I stepped on the scale the other morning and it said, "One at a time, please." But seriously, my weight is at an all time high. Sigh. You'd think there should be some sort of award for that. And the winner is ...

Having said that, I think I may have come up with a new weight management system. My doctor will be so proud, especially since he said recently, "You're not retaining water; you're retaining food." I'll show him! You can't retain that which you can't get into your mouth!

The good news is, though, this weight management system should still allow me to suck up a cold beer or two. The only trick that I can foresee is to slurp up the beer as it's poured into the cone quickly enough before it runs down the side of my neck and ruins my clothes. That would be "alcohol abuse!"

Photo Credit: Unknown (via Facebook)

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Most Expensive Puppies in the World?

Some people have way too much money!

I get the the idea of loving one's dog (Lord knows I love mine), but to spend $137K to clone it after it dies, well, that's bordering a little high on my "weird-o-meter." Yet that is apparently what a UK couple did; they had their beloved pooch cloned after he died, and from those extracted cells, they received two puppies in exchange. So if you were ever wondering what the most expensive puppies in the world were, wonder no more.

Thanks, but no thanks. When that horrible day comes and my pooch passes on, I am more likely to rescue another one from our local Humane Society. They only charge about $300.

Read the full article here.

Sunday, 3 January 2016

of Recycled Toilet Paper

"Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper."
Daphne Zuniga

Online recently I saw someone ask about the logic behind toilet paper advertising. They reasoned, "Doesn't everyone already buy it?" Makes sense to me.

But seriously (sort of), think about some of those toilet paper ads and slogans. Here's a few I've noticed: Pillow Soft, Ultra Soft, Ultra Strong, Using Less Never Felt So Good, Silky Soft, Soft As Old Linen, You'll Prefer _____ (Brand name), Rapid Dissolving, With New Diamond Weaver Texture, Luxury Texture, With Aloe, It's the Little Things, and my favourite, Clean Ripple Texture Removes More.

I don't know about you, but I normally don't buy my toilet paper based upon fancy slogans; I buy it based upon the cheapest price. I mean, you're going to flush it away anyways, so why spend unnecessary dollars on it? Right? But there is one concern that I do have when it comes to buying toilet paper; I'm not so cheap that I will buy the "Recycled" varieties, such as the one depicted in the picture above. "100% Recycled ShitBegone." Hmm. Can you imagine reusing toilet paper that someone else has already used? Yucky. I wonder if Mike Rowe ever had to collect that used toilet paper for recycling on Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs? Hmm.

I guess it's like buying oats; it comes a little cheaper once it's already been through the horse.

Photo Source: Unknown