Tuesday, 29 July 2014

7 Classic Scottish Pub Signs

Recently someone sent me an email with a bunch or pub signs that allegedly came from Scotland. Whether they're for real or not, I have no idea. Either way, I was amused by them and here share what I thought to be the seven best. Enjoy.

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Jet-Powered Flatulence?

In my next life, I want to be an eccentric inventor.

OK, I confess. I've got a twisted sense of humour (for those of you who maybe haven't already noticed). Needless to say, what follows amused me greatly.

British inventor Colin Furze invented a giant fart machine that he fired across the English Channel at France. You can read more about it here.

Come on, admit it. Just the thought of that made you laugh; I know it did.

To the best of my knowledge, there was no report on how amused the French were at having a giant ass pointed their way and being farted upon. Oh well, even if they didn't, I thought it was a "gas."


I love the creativity of some humorists. Where do people come up with these ideas? Congratulations Colin Furze. When you're done with your fart machine, perhaps I could borrow it. I can think of a few folks I would be tempted to point it towards.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

Our Backwards Life Cycle

Someone once said, "A bad sense of humour is better than no sense of humour." I have no idea where that originated, but I have often used it as my own.

How would you like to finish off your life? I'm sure that we all have ideas of what constitutes a life well lived. It may involve a religious worldview, a humanitarian ethos, or simply a good old fashioned honest work ethic. All admirable in their own ways, I'm sure.

But then along comes the comic with his own slant on the question. And if we've learned anything from those with humorist tendencies,  it is to expect the unexpected. 

A friend recently shared the following quote on Facebook that he claimed as being attributed to American humorist, Jack Handey. I don't know if Handey was actually the author or not, but given my own twisted sense of humour, I simply had to share it. Enjoy.
"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating...you finish off as an orgasm."
LOL. Well there you have it. I too have often wondered if our "life cycle is all backwards."

Caveat: The above quote was 'cut 'n pasted' from Facebook. If anyone knows or can prove the authorship, or can correct the quote if it is misquoted, please drop me a comment so that I can properly cite the work, correct it if necessary, and properly seek re-publication permission from the actual author. Thanks.
Photo Credit: Gonzalo Merat, Flickr Creative Commons

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Day Tripping: The Frank Slide

What an absolutely beautiful day! It was warm/hot, the temperature somewhere in the low 30’s, and hardly a breeze or a cloud in the sky. Both Ginny and I had the day off, which in itself is a treat. What shall we do, was the question.

Then we both heard it, faintly at first, but it gradually got louder and louder; the mating call of the V-Twin. Let’s go for a ride. But where? West. Mountains. One can never go wrong with that choice.

After a quick fuel stop, we jumped on Hwy 3 westbound and headed out of Lethbridge towards the mountains. A coffee break at A&W in Fort MacLeod with a shared order of their awesome onion rings, and we were back on the highway.

We stopped at the base of Turtle Mountain where these pictures were taken. I’ve driven through that famous spot many times over the years, but never stopped to take in the scenery. For those of you not familiar with this part of southern Alberta’s history, the following was taken from the tourist information sign on the side of the highway where we stopped.

“In the early morning of 29 April 1903, most of the almost 600 residents of the coal mining town of Frank were asleep. At the coal mine, the night shift was down in the mine, and a few men were working on the surface in the mine buildings.

“At 4:10, a crashing thunderous roar filled the dark, sleeping town and spilled out into the Crowsnest Pass. A wedge of limestone over one kilometre wide, 425 metres long and 150 metres deep, had broken from the crest of Turtle Mountain. It smashed apart as it slid downwards, breaking into boulders that rolled and bounced down the side of the mountain, and spread across the valley.

“In about 90 seconds, homes, buildings and lives were destroyed. The rocks covered part of Frank, closed the entrance to the mine, and swept away the mine buildings and those working in them. The miners underground managed to tunnel their way to the surface. The slide had also buried a construction camp, livery stables, tents, a store, and some ranch buildings. Seventy people are known to have died.
“The sound of the slide had been heard kilometres away, and clouds of limestone dust hung over the Pass for quite a while. While daily life gradually returned to Frank, the slide remained an imposing presence. As one resident commented, ‘the slide is always with us.’”

Well there you have a bit of a southern Alberta history lesson. More than 110 years later, the Frank Slide really still is “an imposing presence.”

After taking a couple pictures, it was back on the bike for the return ride to Lethbridge. All in all, our trip was just shy of 300 km. It really was an awesome day.

I wonder where we’ll go next.

Monday, 7 July 2014

Stress Free Zone

You Are Now Entering A Stress Free Zone

I have no idea where this picture originated, but I like it. As a matter of fact, I fully intend to borrow the idea and make a similar one myself, strategically placed as you enter my back yard and deck area, which is also overgrown with greenery.

I have often mused that my deck area is my sanctuary. For both my wife and myself, it is a place where we can go to regroup after an otherwise difficult (or not so difficult) day. From Spring through Fall, other than bedtime and bathroom breaks, you can find us in this "stress free zone" called our deck area. Actually, come to think of it, it has also been known to serve as overnight accommodations a time or two. Other than winter, this is where life happens for us. As a rule, we guard this space almost religiously.

So if you need a place to unwind, friends are always welcome. But please remember, it's a "Stress Free Zone," and as another deck sign states, "No Sniveling." Peace.