Saturday, 23 November 2013

Love in the Mental Hospital

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said,

"Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged. Since you were able to respond rationally to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

Source: Unknown

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Dear Dr. Ruth,

Who remembers Dr. Ruth? In case you don't know who I'm talking about, here's a short bio:

“Ruth Westheimer (born June 4, 1928) is an American sex therapist, media personality, and author best known as Dr. RuthThe New York Times described her as a "Sorbonne-trained psychologist who became a kind of cultural icon in the 1980s.… She ushered in the new age of freer, franker talk about sex on radio and television—and was endlessly parodied for her limitless enthusiasm and for having an accent only a psychologist could have." (via Wikipedia)

Recently I accidentally came across the following letter addressed to the good Doctor. Unfortunately, partly because of the illegible signature, it is difficult to ascertain the true authorship of the letter. Furthermore, it is equally unfortunate that Dr. Ruth's reply to this poor troubled soul also appears to have become lost. Hopefully in the end, this poor woman was able to find some help from her unfortunate circumstances. 

Source: Unknown

Sunday, 10 November 2013

A Feast Fit For A ...

Do you like to eat? Are you a bit of a "foodie" like me?

Anyone who has followed this little blog for a while will no doubt have realized by now that, among other interests, I am also a bit of a hobby cook. On days off when I have a little more time, I've often been known to experiment with different culinary creations.

Some of these masterpieces (even if only masterpieces in my own mind) include wine making, BBQ creations, exotic soups and sandwiches, and more recently, various experiments from my new smoker. It's a hobby I enjoy, and I think others have enjoyed being the recipients of this hobby too. For some examples of these, simply click on the "Food" label on this blog.

Having said that, I don't think I've ever cooked a meal that registered over 79,000 calories before. As a matter of fact, I know that I haven't. Apparently they did just that on this video. If nothing else, it looks like this could be a lot of fun. However, conspicuously absent at the table, I noticed, was a defibrillator. I'm sure I'd need one.

So as my American friends and neighbours (note the "Canadian" spelling - LOL) start gearing up for their Thanksgiving later this month, and especially if you're getting a little bored with the traditional turkey, here's another idea to grace the table with. Just be sure to save some room for desert.

Happy Thanksgiving, America.

Do you suppose they had any leftovers?

Sunday, 3 November 2013

Daylight Savings Time: A Time for Lunacy?

Happy Time Traveller Day!

Once again it’s that time of year where many of us get to run all around the house changing clocks. Maybe one of these years I will actually remember how to change the clock in my car (groan). Thankfully our smart phones and computers automatically do the changing for us.

If you ask me (and even if you didn’t), Daylight Savings Time is nothing but a waste of time!

Why doesn’t everyone observe it? I like to think that it’s because there are still some politicians out there who also know that Daylight Savings Time is a waste of time. I like to think that there are still some powers that be who aren’t easily bullied into following the status quo of forcing this useless little exercise on the rest of us. If I wanted exercise, I'd go to the gym.

I’m sure that we’ve all heard some of the arguments in favour of DST, such as the energy savings that we will be able to enjoy as a result of it. Proponents of this madness would have us to believe that if we advance our clocks during the months that are already lighter, we would have more daylight in the evenings and less in the mornings. While some studies have claimed to prove this saves energy, others have disproved it by showing that the reverse is actually true due in large part to an increased use of air conditioning and other appliances.

Then there are those, like me, who have long since forgotten what it means to sleep in and who typically wake up earlier than most. Since there is now less daylight in the early morning, thanks again to the DST, we burn more energy in the mornings through the use of more artificial lighting. "Early to bed, early to rise," said the old maxim. Unfortunately, sometimes all that extra light means that it's harder to get to bed earlier, because we've insisted on manipulating the natural created order of time.

And then there’s the toll that all this nonsense plays on our internal clocks. Who hasn’t suffered the effects of that? As someone has jokingly suggested, maybe the real truth in DST is that the whole thing is nothing more than a conspiracy by the coffee companies to get us to buy more coffee. Hmm.

So if we’re going to continue with this lunacy of bi-annual Time Travel, I wish someone would figure out a way to make it worthwhile, say by changing the clocks back 20 years instead of only 60 minutes. Now that would be interesting; take DST to the next level and make it sort of like a reset button on life.

Well there you have it, my Daylight Savings Time rant.

You May Also Want to See: Time: The Great Obsession. A post from my other blog.
Photo Source: Unknown