Wednesday, 23 October 2013

10 Signs Your Beard Is Too Big

As a guy who has sported a beard for most of his life, this struck me funny.

I've had all three lengths of beards depicted here at one time or another. Some have been short and neatly cropped, and others long enough to hide a dinner plate in. Sometimes they've been trimmed low on the cheek, and other times you almost couldn't tell where the beard stopped and the eyebrows began.

I have a patch on my leather biker vest that depicts a bearded face, and a caption which says, "There's a word for people without beards: Women." Needless to say, it has turned a few heads.

I have joked that if the good Lord gave me the ability to grow a beard, He must have meant for me to have a beard. 

I told that to an uncle once, who promptly replied, "and the Lord gave you the ability to father 100's of children too, but He probably doesn't want you to do that." Hmm, perhaps he was right; two were expensive enough.

Still, I love my beard and couldn't imagine a clean-shaven existence.

Photo Source: Unknown (via Facebook)

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Fast-Food? No Thank You!

On the way home from running some Saturday errands, I very nearly convinced myself to stop in at a fast-food establishment to deal with some hunger issues that were starting to get the better of me. I'm glad I didn't.

Instead I decided to make a sandwich at home, and what a sandwich it was! Certainly it was worthy of a picture so that I could share it with you. Looks pretty amazing, doesn't it?

It all began by pulling out of the freezer a homemade burger patty that I made a while ago; half beef, half pork, some garlic and cayenne pepper, and of course, chopped raw onion. I cut the burger patty in half lengthwise in order to make it not quite as thick and to allow it to grill quicker. When it was nearly done, I basted it with "Bull's-Eye Hot Southern Cajun" barbecue sauce (my favourite, I might add).

Then came the wonderful fixings. This began with toasted European rye bread, some "Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise," a couple slices of raw onion, some Canadian Old Cheddar, Hot Chunky Salsa, and two chopped "California Pickled Hot Chili Peppers." Then came the meat paddies, some more Hot Chunky Salsa, and some sliced Garlic Dill Pickles.

The only problem that I didn't foresee was how to dislocate my jaw enough to get the thing in my mouth ... but I managed. It was soooo good.

So next time you're thinking of a greasy-spoon restaurant, I'd challenge you to try a special creation of your own at home instead. No fast-food joint can even come close, and besides, you'll eat healthier and have fun doing it.

Happy eating.

Sunday, 13 October 2013

99 Mouth-Watering Cat Recipes: Number 67

Good news for Mexican food lovers: Cats aren't only for Chinese food anymore. Now you can enjoy your favourite tabby taco style as well.

Who doesn't enjoy tacos?

It is so easy. Start with an extra large taco shell, and add one medium sized tabby. Then garnish with some lettuce, tomatoes, grated cheddar cheese, salsa and a couple dollops of sour cream. For a little variety, try adding some fresh shrimp; it will take your tacocat experience to a whole new level.

Doesn't that sound good? Yum.

I have often heard people complain about stray cats, but I have no problem with them; they provide a steady stream of free meat. I mean, why would anyone want to pay those unbelievably high prices for fresh meat in the grocery store, when on almost any given day, one finds the meat simply wandering right into your yard? It's almost as if they're volunteering to end up on the menu.

So if the grocery budget is tight, be sure to try all of the "99 Mouth-Watering Cat Recipes." You'll be glad that you did. However, please remember to use only traps approved by your local humane society.