Thursday, 29 August 2013

How the Internet Started

A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):

Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but here's the true story ...

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her, as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"

And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted - for insider trading.

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sounds of the drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dom Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

And that's how it all began; I kid you not ... sort of.
A Caveat: The source of the preceding remains anonymous to me and was discovered via Facebook; it is not original to me. If anyone knows who the author or copyright holder is, please send me a note so that I might give proper credit where credit is due. Thank you.
Graphic Source:‎

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Most Bizarre For Sale Ad?

Every once in a while you see something in the newspaper that makes you scratch your head and say, "Hmm." This has to be one of those type of moments. I'm not really sure what to say about this; I'm still chuckling over it.

Now the question I have is, how does one acquire a used tombstone in the first place?

Maybe the company that made the tombstone made a spelling mistake on the person's name, and obviously couldn't sell it to the deceased person's family. It happens all the time in other areas when people don't take the time to do proper editing; it could happen in the tombstone business too. But then again, I suppose we couldn't really call such a tombstone "used," for it likely would never have been laid on a grave.

Maybe this person was suddenly no longer dead, as in an old episode of MASH. Apparently the good doctors lost a deceased soldier (from Lichtenstein, I think) and were forced to attend a memorial service without him. During the playing of the national anthem, still in his bandages and saluting, suddenly the soldier that everyone though was dead, began making his way out to the ceremony. Upon seeing this, one of the doctors asks the other, "I thought you said he was dead?" The other answers, "He got better."

Maybe, as in that poorly made and theologically incorrect (in my opinion) apocalyptic movie Left Behind, those who were not raptured suddenly found themselves having to carry on living without some of their loved ones as the world's population is suddenly greatly reduced. Perhaps they would sell off old family tombstones then as well, since many of the graves would also presumably now be empty (see John 5: 28-29).

Maybe the whole ad was simply someone's practical joke. If so, I like his/her sense of humour.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

Oh 'Deer' Me ...

Funny, but it could happen.

Who hasn't taken a double-take as they drove by someone's nicely landscaped yard because they saw what looked like a deer laying on the front lawn? I know I have. After all, many of these ornaments do look quite real, at least at first glance they do. So, Yes, I can see how it could happen.

Yeah, we could argue that it was a waste of emergency resources sending a team to rescue the "injured fawn," but at the same time, if legitimate, we would also have to say kudos to the 911 caller for his/her concern. Nobody in their right mind would want to see an injured animal suffering, would they? Of course not! There are likely far more ways that we waste emergency medical resources every day than an occasional "oops" like this.

At the end of the day, who knows; perhaps this "emergency" call may have actually been exactly the de-stressor that the doctor ordered.

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

of Fire Pits, Hollow Logs, and Forest Fire Lessons

I fired up the old fire pit the other night. I really don't know why we don't do that more than we do; I sure enjoy it. A couple hot dogs, perhaps a few roasted marshmallows, a glass or two of my home made hootch, add the company of my favourite wife (lol, OK, only wife) and a few good friends, and you have the perfect summer evening.

Note to self: Do it more often.

Well, this last time I learned an important lesson about fire pits; before you go in for the evening, make very certain your fire pit is completely out. I got up the next morning and noticed a fine line of smoke still rising from the fire pit. It was covered with a grate, and thankfully nothing came of it, but it had the potential to create a serious problem.

Lesson learned.

Upon closer examination, I noticed a log still in the fire pit, about three feet long, had been burned right through the centre, with most of the exterior still intact. It was almost as if it had been bored straight through with some giant drill. I thought, how cool is that? Apparently there were still enough hot embers in the bottom of the fire pit to burn right up through the centre of the log. I have never seen such a thing before.

It reminded me of a time a few years ago after some forest fires near Kelowna, BC. When we drove through some of the affected neighbourhoods afterwards, we saw several concrete driveways leading up to nothing more than a stone chimney; the rest of the house was completely incinerated by the advancing forest fire. But every once in a while, between two newly fire-vacated lots, there stood a house completely intact. Looking at it alone, one might be hard pressed to even realize that there even was a fire in that neighbourhood. It was like the fire jumped over a house from time to time, before advancing on to destroy the next property.

What is the point of all of this?

The point is, fire can be (or perhaps usually is) very unpredictable. Yes, I enjoy sitting around a fire pit; many people do. The important thing to remember, though, is to make sure you always use a proper and safe fire pit, and always be sure to make certain that it is completely out before you leave it unattended or turn in for the evening. You just never know when it will catch you by surprise and do the unexpected.

Friday, 9 August 2013

Women's Shampoo Survey

Well, the results are finally in, and our readers have been itching to know the results.

Here at The Other Side of Will we were asked to conduct a survey on the shampoo preferences of women. There seems to be so many different varieties on the store shelves, but are there one or two favourites? Those who commissioned us to do the survey wanted to know.

Our job? Survey 100 women and ask them which shampoo they preferred. It seemed simple enough. The top answer? "How the hell did you get in here?" Well, there you have it.

I wonder what survey they will ask us to do next?

Photo Source: Unknown (via Facebook)