Saturday, 15 December 2012

Divorced at Christmas

There once was an old man who called his son the day before Christmas Eve and said, "Son, I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty five years of misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screamed.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father said. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister and tell her."

Frantically the son called his sister who absolutely exploded on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced! I'll take care of this!"

She immediately called her father and screamed at him, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we will both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, do you hear me? Don't do a thing!" She then hung up.

The old man also hung up the phone and turned to his wife and said, "Done. They're coming for Christmas, and they're even paying their own way."

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
Story Source: Unknown

Sunday, 2 December 2012

The Green Thing

I am always amused when I go to a store and they charge me for those cheap little plastic bags. Once I mentioned something to the effect of it being a "bag tax." The cashier seemed quite offended, claiming it was good for the environment.

Now I am all in favour of doing my little part in protecting the environment, but sometimes I think we still haven't got this whole "Green thing" figured out quite right yet.

They charge me a "bag tax" in part because they want to discourage me from using their bags (implying that I should bring my own reusable bags) and thus reduce the number of bags going into the landfills.

In a perhaps ironic twist, I would argue that putting those little cheap bags into the landfills is actually better for the environment. How so, you ask? Because I reuse those bags for all my household garbage, thus eliminating the need for me to buy and use those big heavy black garbage bags, which I might add, are bound to decompose an awful lot slower than the little thin grocery bags that they want you and me to stop using. Somehow this just seems illogical to me. But then again, big business (of which the "Green Thing" is one) doesn't always make sense.

To illustrate this point, I quite like the following story. I have no idea where it originated or whom to give credit to for it, as I received it in an email from someone. But it begs the question, though we are perhaps officially doing the "Green Thing," in how many countless ways aren't we really very "un-Green," at least in comparison to previous generations?

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then we washed the baby's diaper because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.  Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their Moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
Story Source: Unknown

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Formal Apology Forms

It seems to have become apparent that sometimes we all open our mouths only long enough to change feet. We here at "The Other Side of Will" have also run into this problem before a time or a hundred, as evidenced by the post, Crap, I've Offended Again!

In order to help to do the right thing and deal with this problem, we have officially adopted this "Formal Apology" form to deal with future perceived offences by you, our cherished readers. We believe that this action on our part should help to prove that keeping the peace is very important to us.

Our Board of Directors has determined that the way we deal with future blog/post offences, is that, once a complaint arrives, we will quickly respond, usually within 72 hours, by filling out the "Formal Apology" form, and then cutting and pasting it back into the comment box of the offending blog/post. We trust that this will help ease the tensions that have too often arisen, usually due to your inability to appreciate our sense of humour and joking.

Thank you, from your friends here at "The Other Side of Will." Peace.

Formal Apology Form Source: Unknown

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winner

Here on "The Other Side of Will" we are happy to announce the winner of our very first "Wet T-Shirt" contest.

Well, what else did you think it was going to be? 


Photo Source: Unknown

Grandchildren or Bust?

My wife and I enjoy being empty nesters. Sure, we love it when the kids come over, but we also love our alone time when they go home again. What an interesting stage of life.

But we are also looking forward to the next stage in life; grandchildren. Unfortunately, our kids don't seem to share the same sense of urgency as we do in this department, or better said, as my wife senses. I am strangely OK without the pitter-patter of little feet; at least at the moment I still am.

My dear wife has an awesome saying that she likes to use to lovingly remind our kids of this need of hers. She says, "I want grandchildren while I am still young enough to know what to do with them." (Yes, I asked her permission to share this nugget). I love that.

It is all good, though. While we joke about it, we would certainly much rather know that our kids timing of right relationships, schooling and employment are also considered before they embark on the responsibilities of parenthood. And out kids know this too.

Wanting grandchildren is just natural. What I don't understand is women who are still having babies into their 50's and 60's while most women already have a handful of grandchildren Am I the only one who thinks that is a bit weird? A case in point is the story of the 65 Year Old Mother of 5 Year Old Twins.

It is one thing to become a grandparent later in life and being too old to know what to do with them, but it's quite another to become a mother and being too old to know what to do with them.

I love the humorous story someone shared with us recently called, "Childbirth at 65."
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 
"May I see the new baby?" I asked. 
"Not yet," she said. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first." 
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the new baby now?" 
"No, not yet," she said. 
After a few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, "May I see the baby now?" 
"No, not yet," replied my friend. 
Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?" 
"When he cries!" she told me. 
"When he cries?" I asked. "Why do I have to wait until he cries?" 
"Because I forgot where I put him, OK?!
Though I am sure it was meant as a joke, it illustrates my wife's humorous point; if we are already forgetting were we leave things like keys and cell phones now, what's to prevent us from forgetting what to do with a newborn grandchild that is presented to us when we are already in our twilight years?

Postscript: The preceding was meant in jest and in no way was intended to convey the notion of absentmindedness in the latter years of life. "Childbirth at 65" story source unknown. Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Saturday, 3 November 2012

of Future Cars and Diapers

Recently I received an email from a friend announcing a new car by Mercedes Benz, the SCL600. These four pictures of the car were attached, plus a couple others, and that's about all I know about the email. Like most such emails, it had probably been forwarded countless times before I got it, and so I cannot attest to it's origin or the origin of these pictures.

At first glance it looks like a nice car, but one with a very unique difference; namely, it has no steering wheel or pedals. Thanks in large part to Photoshop and the like, these days one never really knows for sure exactly what one is looking at. The saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words" doesn't ring quite the same as it once did. Almost any picture can be manipulated these days.
So to find out the truth of this futuristic-looking  car, I turned to Snopes (check it out) to see what I could learn. What struck me right off the start is that this car, though not in production (yet), is really nothing new at all. As a matter of fact, the world was already introduced to this car 16 years ago at the 1996 Paris Motorshow.
I have already driven joystick equipped vehicles, but at a greatly reduced speed. For me this was in the form of operating heavy construction equipment. Having said that, and given that experience, this probably wouldn't take too much to get used to.  Certainly, it would be fun to take the Mercedes Benz SCL600 out for a bit of a spin though, wouldn't you agree?

I suspect that, as my original email suggested, those who wouldn't have any real trouble with a car like this are the Nintendo and Xbox generation. Why? Because they grew up with video games and joysticks. Unlike us old codgers, they've been driving cars like this on their TV screens since diaper-days.

So one day, when they put you and me back into diapers, perhaps our grandchildren or great grandchildren, will occasionally come in a car like this and pick us up from the nursing home for Sunday dinner with the family. And what will you and I do? We'll shake our heads in wonderment at their steering wheel-less car much like our grandparents or great grandparents must have done when, on their horse drawn buggy of yesteryear, they saw Henry Ford's horseless carriage go past them down the street.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Is "World Series" an Odd Name for Baseball's Holy Grail?

So once again it is World Series time.

I don't mean to poke fun at baseball's holy grail, but why is it that out of all major sporting events, I have the most difficulty with this one? Oh, it's not the game itself, for it is a fine game. I have many fond memories of Sunday afternoon ball games with my family, albeit in a different league. So what is my problem with this particular series?

Nothing really. Actually it's probably more just a quirk or perhaps semantics. Maybe you could even call it a "pet peeve." What am I talking about? I'm talking about the use of the word "World" when the game really has nothing to do with the "world," unless you count Canada's token contribution to the league through the Toronto Blue Jays.

Compare it to international soccer, or football as the rest of the world correctly calls it. Every few years they play for the "World Cup." This makes perfect sense, since it is the best of the world coming together to play what is probably one of the world's best loved games.

But the "World Series" has nothing to do with the participation of the various nations coming to seek a real world championship baseball team. Sure, there may be several international players represented, but they don't play for their home countries; they play for the local American city whose jersey they wear.

Perhaps it needs a new name to better reflect the game, one that sounds a little less pompous. Any suggestions? Hmm

A Caveat: This post was meant in jest. I meant no offence to the baseball gods.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Hockey Lockout? Yawn

So hockey commissioner Gary Bettman has rejected the players latest counter offer. Yawn. Oops, did I say that out loud? Sorry, it seems that my inside voice got out.

NHL lockouts and strikes are nothing new. The only thing that is new is that now I am even less interested in the game than I was after the last lockout. That last one soured the game for me; this one made it worse. Now I'm at the point where I no longer even care if there is a hockey season this year, next year, or ever again, regardless who is to blame. Sorry, but enough is enough.

All I can think of is, you poor dears; owners and players alike. Still not making enough money, are we? It must be really difficult for you to get by on your little seven and eight figure salaries. Times are tough, I understand. It makes sense to fight for another sack of nickels and dimes, ultimately at the expense of the fans who are forced to pay higher and higher ticket prices because of it. Give me a break!

In my opinion, if the hockey season were somehow rescued, it would be really neat if the fans returned the favour and boycotted the games as payback. Could you imagine that? Oh, I am not suggesting that this be forever, but just for a little while. I mean, by now we are more or less used to not having a game to go to, aren't we? Imagine an NHL game in which no fans showed up. Imagine if every team's first home game or two after the lockout had no fans to cheer them on. Wow! Now imagine the message that would send to the league. Hmm.

Maybe that's all just wishful thinking on my part, for no doubt many would ignore the message and attend the first game anyways, and that's their right. But if enough people start spreading a similar message, if posts calling for a boycott started to go viral, sending the message far and wide, who knows what might be accomplished? At the very least attendance numbers would be greatly reduced and hockey arenas would begin to look like baseball stadiums ... full of empty seats.

So if you're starting to think like me, if you're thinking enough is enough, then I challenge you to spread the word, return the favour to this already overpaid and obviously still very greedy National Hockey League, and boycott at least the first few games once this mess is finally settled.

That's the way I see it anyways. Hockey lockout? I've already pretty much locked them out from my interest list and wallet too since I've discovered that life is possible without the NHL.

Hockey Lockout? Yawn.

Postscript: For a lighter side to all this NHL lockout nonsense, check out this video.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Sunday, 14 October 2012

A New English Pronoun?

I heard a proposal recently to create a new unisex pronoun for the English language. Apparently some folks still get confused with the accepted current form of he, she, and it.

The proposal is actually quite simple and is as follows:
Take the "S" from "she" 
Take the "H" from "he" 
And then add the "IT"
I wonder if it will ever catch on? Probably not.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

The Canadian National Bird

There are some folks who believe that our wonderful country of Canada is somehow lacking because it does not have a national bird. Since several suggestions have already been put forward, I thought I'd like to add mine.

I would like to suggest that the Mosquito be considered as a candidate in the ongoing quest to find Canada a national bird.

In some regions of our great land there have been reported sightings of giant mosquitos that are, allegedly, almost as large as small aircraft. In such areas pedestrians are advised to use extreme caution, for they can apparently even carry away a small child. It seems to me that such a magnificent creature deserves honour and recognition.

Canada has other large creatures as well, such as the infamous Ogopogo of Okanagan Lake in beautiful British Columbia and our very own northern Canadian Sasquatch.

So in honour of Winnipeg, which is already known as Canada's Mosquito Capital, it seems only fitting that we also consider recognizing the mosquito as Canada's national bird.


Photo Source: Unknown

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The Radio Contest

So I made a call to our local radio station today. You see, they were having a contest, and I thought, "Why not? I'll give it a try."

I was pleasantly surprised when they answered and said, "Congratulations on being our first caller. All you have to do to win our grand prize is to answer the following question correctly."

"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.

"You're feeling confident then?" asked the person at the radio station. "It's a math question."

"No problem," I said. "I've got a math degree and I teach math at our local school."

"OK, then," continued the radio personality, "to win our grand prize of two front row seats to a Justin Bieber concert and to meet him back stage, what is 2+2?"

"7," I replied.

Photo Source: Flickr Creative Commons

Friday, 5 October 2012

RIP, Big Bird

It seems that US presidential candidate Romney wants to cut Big Bird. Though he may lose some support from the Sesame Street crowd over that, I understand that politics is full of difficult decisions like that. Programs get added and programs get cut; it's the way of the system.

Mr. Romney, Big Bird may not be "essential" in your view, but let's not waste him. I have one little suggestion for you, sir.

For the love of all the poor and hungry muppets of Sesame Street, I hope you have the decency to not let Big Bird be thrown out like yesterday's trash. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Wouldn't it be nice to see some good come from this proposed government cutback? Wouldn't it be nice to know, sir, that little Ernie can finally go to bed with a full belly?

Rest in "Piece," Big Bird ... pieces of white meat, pieces of dark meat, perhaps pieces of wing and drumstick too. Oh, and by the way, Mitt. I trust you'll be able to afford to supply some of the side dishes too? A little sweet potato and a few veggies? Oh, and don't forget the apple pie.

Photo Source: Unknown

Monday, 1 October 2012

A Lover's Spat in the Wild Kingdom?

"When a male bird can't stand it anymore."

Sorry ladies, but that was the caption that accompanied this picture that I received via email recently. I must say, it made me smile.

Do you ever wonder what wildlife are saying to each other? For instance, in this picture, is the one bird tired of all the constant chirping of the other and simply looking for some peace and quiet? What's going on in those little feathered heads? Though fun to imagine, we'll probably never know. Perhaps this is nothing more than a lover's spat in the wild kingdom.

At any rate, I'm sure you'll agree, it's a once in a lifetime shot.

Photo Source: Unknown

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Planet of the Turkeys

We are now only one week away from Thanksgiving here in Canada. My American friends like their version of it about six weeks later than us. I think that means that they just want their Canadian neighbours to have first "crack" (pun fully intended) at all the turkeys and they'll settle for all the leftovers. Just kidding. It probably doesn't mean that at all. Taking time out for counting your blessings and being thankful is what matters, regardless when you choose to celebrate.

So when I saw this cartoon out there in cyberspace, you had to know that I would be sharing it. Strangely, it reminded me of that old movie, Planet of the Apes. Remember that classic from the late 1960's?

Planet of the Apes is a sci-fi flick that tells the story of a group of astronauts who crash land on a planet and discover that it is inhabited by apes that have advanced much higher up the evolutionary scale than their cousins back on Earth. The apes are clearly the dominant species with advanced speech and intellect. The human-to-ape relationship on Earth is very much reversed on the Planet of the Apes.

So back to our cartoon. All I could think about was that perhaps this cartoon depicts what a Planet of the Turkeys might look like. If there was such a place, could this be what their Thanksgiving preparations might look like? If so, perhaps the Planet of the Turkeys would probably not be a wise vacation destination, especially during the holidays.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Postscript: If there was ever any question as to my twisted sense of humour, I'm sure this will remove all doubt. A caveat: No turkeys were harmed in the production of this post. Peace.

Photo Source: Unknown (via Facebook)

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Garbanzo Beans As A Snack?

I've been trying to eat a little healthier lately. Talk about tough! In many ways, for me this seems to have become like the proverbial "old dogs and new tricks."

One of the killers to that plan has always been snack foods, and as I've discovered lately, especially wheat based snacks. To be honest, I've never thought of wheat as a problem before, but a borrowed book called "Wheat Belly" seems to suggest that it is. For me, even though this book was written by a medical doctor, the jury is still out on that premise. I just cannot imagine myself going completely gluten free. At any rate, it probably would do me the world of good to at least cut back a little on the wheat products that I consume.

But what's this got to do with garbanzo beans (also known as chickpeas)? Well as a part of trying to eat healthier, I bought a package of dried garbanzo beans. I'm not too familiar with them, and since I don't recall ever cooking them, I searched online for some recipe ideas. I found a few interesting ones, and one that I thought was perfect as a snack food. At the very least, I reasoned, they're high in protein, and so they must be good for you.

I didn't follow the recipe perfectly; I rarely do. The original recipe called for canned garbanzo beans and I had the dried bag variety. I learned that to use dried beans it's always best to soak them for up to 24 hours first, which is something that I did. By the time I was ready to use them, they had almost doubled in size.

After rinsing and patting dry the beans, I placed them on a cookie sheet and coated them in olive oil before putting them into a 400F oven for about 30 minutes. I watched that they didn't burn, and at the 30 minute mark, some of the beans started to pop, so I removed them from the oven. I seasoned them with salt and with Zatarain's Creole Seasoning that some friends brought back for me from Texas (I cannot seem to buy it locally here), but I'm sure that any favourite seasoning that you have on hand would work just as well.

And now, let me give credit where credit is due. I found the original recipe here. If you decide to try them, drop me a note and let me know what you think.

Happy munching 

Photo Credit: Steamy Kitchen, Inc.

Post Script: For those interested, I just found this summary of the book Wheat Belly.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

The Lifestyle Change

Someone shared with me again recently how they lost a bunch of weight. While I felt happy for them, all I could think of saying was, "I found it. Do you want it back?" Apparently they did not. Bummer. I guess that means I have to lose my extra weight all on my own.

I've never been one for dieting. Granted, some people have had great success with various diets. But for me, well, there's just something about the word "diet" that is a big turn-off. I suspect that is probably true for many people. Maybe it's just semantics, but as I learned recently, perhaps a better way to look at this is not to call it a "diet" but rather a "lifestyle change." There's nothing profound in all this really; it all comes down to a change in attitude and habit. Thomas a' Kempis is quoted to have said, "Habit overcomes habit." That's what I need; I need a new and healthier habit to overcome some of the old and less healthier habits that I seem to have developed over the years.

I tried the gym thing, but it really wasn't for me. It's hard to get motivated to go, and I really don't enjoy the crowds or the loud music often associated with it. Instead, we went and bought this really awesome elliptical machine by True Fitness. We love it! Though I had someone say to me that they are only "really expensive clothes hangers," that has not been my experience thus far (and hopefully it never will). I'm on it four to five mornings per week before work, and I've never felt better.

Another part of the lifestyle change is rethinking what we eat, how much we eat, and when we eat it. Late night munchies are particularly deadly, so I am trying to avoid that practice. Keeping alcohol consumption to a minimum also helps, but as I am a winemaker, I confess that is a bit of a challenge.

The good news is, that cursed number on the scale is starting to drop. For that, I am grateful. Oh, and by the way, if you happen to find my lost pounds, I don't want them back either.

Photo Credit: True Fitness

Thursday, 30 August 2012

of $20K Hammers and State Funerals

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
I have mixed feelings about this story. $368K for a funeral?

Please don't get me wrong; he was one of the better political leaders that our country has seen in a very long time, and I admired him greatly. Truly, we need more leaders like Jack.

But $368K?

Certainly the man deserved  a send-off of state funeral proportions. I, for one, would never argue to the contrary. Nor am I suggesting that public money was wasted; in this case, it was not. It was very important for the public to have an opportunity to say goodbye, just as it would be for friends and loved ones to say goodbye at any funeral, regardless how well known the deceased was or wasn't. Perhaps the greater and more well-known the person, the greater the memorial. And if that is true, then it logically stands to reason, the greater the cost.

However, my real pet peeve here actually has nothing to do with this state funeral, but rather by reading this article, I was reminded of how governments seem to just sign off on expenses as if they were nothing. Everything governments touch seems to cost significantly more than they would if it were only the private sector involved. One need not look very hard before finding one story after another of incredible, and perhaps blatant, disregard and concern for the taxpayer's dollars.

Photo Source: Flickr Creative Commons
By way of example, I can go to Canadian Tire store and buy a hammer for less than $20. Why is it that when we involve governments, the same hammer suddenly seems to cost $20K? OK, I may have exaggerated a little, but you get the point.

There's a classic line in the movie Independence Day in which Judd Hirsch answers the president's funding question by saying, "You don't actually think they spend $20K on a hammer, $30K on a toilet seat, do you?"

If governments don't really spend money like that, then why does it always seem to look on paper like they do? As the article says, "Until now, the cost of Layton's state funeral has been kept under wraps." I wonder what else they are keeping under wraps. Are they hiding other expenditures in the books that we, the public, have to fight to find out the truth about?  At the very least, one has to wonder.

Perhaps the greatest irony in this for me was that Jack stood for the welfare of the average working guy, yet when he passed, the government of the land stuck their hands into the collective pockets of the average working guy to the tune of $368K. Am I missing something here?

Anyway, that's the way I see it.

Monday, 27 August 2012

If the Shoe Fits ...

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with:

a herd of cows,

a flock of chickens,

a school of fish,

a gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is:

a pride of lions,

a murder of crows,

(as well as their cousins,
rooks and ravens)

an exaltation of doves,

presumably because they look so wise,

a congress of owls.

Now consider a group of baboons:

They are the loudest, 
most dangerous, 
most obnoxious, 
most viciously aggressive, 
and least intelligent of all primates. 

And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ...

a parliament.

a parliament of baboons

That explains a lot of things.

If the shoe fits ...


Affectionately dedicated to our political system.

A Caveat: The preceding was sent to me in an email and I cannot attest to its origin, or credit would certainly be given where it is due. As such, I am not the author of this. I simply found it amusing and worth sharing. No offence is intended.

Friday, 24 August 2012

It Sounds Different Without Teeth, Doesn't It?

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
An old friend of mine used to get great amusement from farting in public. The louder the fart, the better. If no one seemed to take notice, the whole experience was a wasted effort as far as he was concerned. Places like crowded coffee shops were his favourite. And if he could make others think that YOU were the flatulence offender instead of him, sort of a ventriloquist fart, well then he was especially proud of himself. It was always an interesting experience going for coffee with this friend. Some days you just wanted to crawl behind a newspaper, and once I actually did do just that. Still, I enjoyed my friend's company.

One winter day he and I and another mutual friend were sitting in a coffee shop chatting about who knows what when an older gentleman, taking a break from his job as a snowplow operator, asked if he could join us at our table. "Of course you may," we said.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
He was a friendly gentleman and we enjoyed each other's company. Then, wouldn't you know it, part way through one of our guest's stories, my friend lets out a fart which, had it been much louder, I'm sure would have rattled the windows behind us. As I started to smirk, the old gentleman interrupted his story just long enough to say, "It sounds different without teeth, doesn't it?" He then continued on with his story as if nothing had happened.

Well we roared with laughter. None of us were expecting a come-back like that, and if memory serves me correctly, my friend's sphincter remained silent the rest of the evening.

Why do I tell you this? I do so in part because I firmly believe that most of us could tell our own story or two of this funny but often still socially unacceptable phenomenon, farting in public.  I also do so because I was reminded of the event when I came across another very funny fart story. If you have a twisted sense of humour like me, you owe it to yourself to check out this link:

The Fart that Almost Altered My Destiny

A bad sense of humour
is better than no sense of humour

Friday, 6 July 2012

My Plea ...

On behalf of all my friends who ride ...

Thanks. We appreciate it.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

"Bean" There; Drank That ... But No More

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons
I confess that I have become somewhat of a coffee snob.

While I used to go to the popular coffee shops to meet friends and put back cup after cup of their poison, I just can't do that any more. Oh, sure, I still meet friends in those establishments, for fellowship remains important, but as for drinking the swill from their cesspool that they pawn off as coffee, no thanks. I'll pass.

"Life's too short to drink bad coffee."
I admit that's somewhat of a cliché, but oh well, it's true. There are plenty of ways we can go cheap in order to save money, and I am the first one to support the family budget by doing so. But coffee has become one of those "non-negotiables" for me. I would sooner buy some good quality coffee and take it home to enjoy out on my deck, than to go and sit in some fly-infested donut shop sipping on their over-priced and under-quality sludge.

As important as it is in starting with quality coffee beans, the way we prepare our coffee is also important. Yes, we still have the old drip maker, but I now prefer the French Press Pot. Mine is a one litre stainless steel variety that keeps the coffee nice and hot.

I am also a believer in fair trade. As I type this, I am sipping on freshly ground coffee from Rwanda that is "Certified Organic Fairly Traded: Supporting the Women of Rwanda" (from the label). Not only do I get great coffee, but my purchase also supports a great cause.
So where do I buy my coffee? 
Let me introduce to to my favourite coffee shop. I know it simply as:
For those of you who are not fortunate enough to live here in beautiful Lethbridge, Alberta, you can still buy your coffee from Cuppers online, so now you have no excuse (no, I am not receiving a commission for saying this; I just believe in their product). 

Well there you have it. Go ahead and drink your sawdust-infused grocery store variety, if you must, or come on over and share some real coffee. But I warn you, once you do, you will not easily go back.

Hmm, time for a refill. Bye for now.

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Nice Stockings, Sister

What can I say about this? For me, this picture came "nun" too soon (yuk, yuk, grin, grin)

When I first saw this picture, I had to wipe away the tears of laughter and look again. Did I really see what I thought I saw? Apparently I did.

Theology aside, often times I think the world views religious people as stuffy old prudes, and sometimes for good reason. Quite frankly some religious folks do go around looking like they've been baptized in vinegar or lemon juice, and that's too bad. Is that really the perception that we want to give the world of what it means to be a Christian?

For me, this picture helps to debunk that perception. People of faith can have fun too. Why shouldn't they be able to seize the moment and have a good laugh? Who knows, maybe it's Jesus himself tending bar. Hmm, could be. After all, He did turn water into wine on at least one occasion. Maybe they're laughing because of the joke they just heard. "Hey, did you hear the one about the Baptist minister...?"

Judging from the expression of the nun on the far left, they appear to enjoy the humour of the situation as well. I wonder what they're drinking; "virgin" martinis maybe? Probably not. If they are at all like a certain nun that I know, they're probably enjoying a couple cold beers.

Perhaps, if there is a lesson to be found here, it is that we need to all learn to lighten up a bit. Can we try to get into the "habit" of doing that? (pun fully intended).

Photo Source: Unknown