Saturday, 17 February 2018

A Stool for Better Stools?

Do you suck at pooping?

Well my wife and I learned something when we visited Walmart this morning. It appears that we've been using the toilet the wrong way.

Who knew?!

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Ever since I was a potty-trained youngster, I always thought that pooping was simply a case of finding the nearest toilet, dropping your shorts, and letting it rip. Add a good bathroom reader and some decent toilet paper, preferably a brand that doesn't easily allow your fingers to poke through causing one to self-administer his own prostate exam, and you're good to go. Add a few good farts for good measure, and it's even better. None of it seemed like rocket science.

Who knew that there was more to it than that?!

Apparently the position of your feet  also has a role in creating better poops. We've since learned that the correct way to use a toilet is to have your feet elevated and thus creating more of a natural squat. The answer to all our pooping problems is the Squatty Potty; a stool for better stools. So now you know. You're welcome.

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But all joking aside, and as hilarious as all this sounds, maybe there's something to this. Maybe a little more research into helping out the health of the old sphincter is warranted. Maybe a return trip to Walmart to get my own Squatty Potty is justified so that I too can learn to poop right. The old adage of "old dogs and new tricks" comes to mind. Hmm ...

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