Friday, 6 November 2015

Living Is Hazardous To Your Health

So the World Health Organization says processed meat causes cancer. I don't know about you, but I'm a little tired of all these so-called studies that claim this is bad for you, or that is bad for you. A person could go crazy worrying about all those health-robbing foods. There's probably nothing in your supermarket that is 100% safe for you to eat and which doesn't have some potential health risk. Ultimately living is hazardous to your health (Yes, I'm being a little facetious).

I'm reminded of a scene in an old movie (I can't recall the name) in which a doctor time-travels into the future. While there, he attends some medical function and during the break time, he is surprised to see all the other doctors light up cigarettes. He questioned why they're smoking when they're doctors and should know better than participate in an unhealthy lifestyle. One of his colleagues replied something to the effect of, "Medicine has stopped believing in the harmful effects of smoking years ago."

I'm sure the medical community of the future won't be coming to that kind of a conclusion any time soon, but it was funny and illustrates what often seems like conflicting medical studies. I saw this little quip on social media the other day, and it made me chuckle:

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Personally I have no intention to change my diet simply because there was yet another medical study done somewhere that made some sort of claims and recommendations. My two-cents worth is this: Enjoy that steak and enjoy that glass (or three) of wine, because everyone knows that the number one cause of death is birth. In other words, enjoy life. I guess the wisdom of the ages in all this is, "Everything in Moderation." Never drink more than one bottle of wine at a time, never eat more than one cow at a time, never ...

Photo Credit: Don LaVange, Flickr Creative Commons
Quote Source: Unknown

Tuesday, 3 November 2015

The Text Message ...

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text message. It said:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"

The husband, typically not your romantic sort, replied:

"I am on the toilet. Please advise."

Photo Source: Flickr Creative Commons
Story Source: Unknown

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Ho-Ho-Ho, Trick or Treat?

On Saturday October 31, 2015 (Halloween) our local newspaper carried this cartoon which struck me both funny and strangely relevant. Why? Funny because of the obvious overlap of holidays; relevant because about two weeks ago, mid-October, I already saw exterior Christmas lights lit up on two different homes. Really, people?

"Too early?" asks Santa standing among the trick or treaters. I'll say! Could we not wait at least until our American neighbours have had a chance to celebrate their Thanksgiving on the 26th of November? Better yet, at the risk of sound Scrooge-ish, how about we forgo all Christmas decorations until December 1st at the earliest. In my way of thinking, all "Ho-Ho-Ho's" prior to December are legitimately "Ba-Humbugs!"

That's the way I see it anyway. Ho-Ho-Ho, Trick or Treat?