Sunday, 11 January 2015

The World is My Urinal and Other Signs

Someone once said, "The world is my urinal." I was out for a drive today with my better half, and as we went down a dead-end street, we had to stop when we saw this sign on the corner of a homeowner's property. It was worthy of a picture:

"Video Surveillance in use. URINATING PROHIBITED. You will be reported."

I almost wet myself laughing! Excuse me? Suddenly I felt like I had to go pee and I might have taken the sign as a dare had my wife not been in the car with me. And they were such nice looking urinals too ... I mean, trees.

Ever notice how one doesn't necessarily think about doing something until one sees a sign saying not to do it? Mr. Homeowner, have you never gone pee up against a tree before? Do you really want to film me exposing myself by fulfilling nature's call there on the edge of your property? Probably not (but it does sound rather kinky - LOL). Still, to each their own. In all fairness, maybe it has been a problem for them. We have some interesting signs on our property too.

One of my personal favourites found on the edge of my deck is this one:

"CAUTION: May Not Get Along With Others."

I will let you in on a little secret: We actually do get along just fine with others. In some ways this is simply like those "Beware of Dog" signs some people put on their property, even though they do not own a dog. Hmm, come to think of it, maybe this explains why we haven't had a lot of visitors lately. No matter; maybe sometimes that's a blessing too, in a strange sort of way. And besides, we like our little backyard hermitage just fine. Another sign we have on our deck is this one:

"No Sniveling."

My backyard deck is my sanctuary, and the last thing I want, is whining (or snivelling) there in my sanctuary.   Lord knows, we all put up with enough of that in our day-to-day interactions with others. I am extroverted when I need to be at work and other public gatherings, but as someone else has said, "Acting normal day after day is hard work!" How do I regroup? By also being a confessed introvert; go away and leave me alone! We have a doormat at our backdoor which says exactly that:

"Go Away."

We mean that in a most respectful way, of course. Hopefully it's also taken with the humour with which it was intended. Come to think about it, I guess that's basically what that other homeowner was saying too with his sign; Go away and pee somewhere else.

Ours just says "Go Away." But if you need to, you're welcome to use our tree before you do. And rest assured; there are no video cameras to record the event.
☺ ☺ 

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