of Toilet Paper, Socks, and Grad Dresses

Credit: S. Grace Flickr Creative Commons

My brother just posted on his Facebook timeline the following little blurb:

"No toilet paper! Goodbye socks!"

Don't you just hate it when that happens? Imagine if you were barefoot when you made that horrible discovery!

While we're on the subject, I used to wonder why toilet paper companies felt the need to advertise their product. I mean, doesn't everyone buy toilet paper already? Hmm, perhaps it's because some of us don't seem to remember to buy enough of it.

Credit: Jenni Froedrick
Flickr Creative Commons

And who hasn't heard of people wearing outfits made entirely of toilet paper? Tabloids have from time to time featured well-known people showing off their bathroom ensembles. If I'm not mistaken, even a couple of my kid's schoolmates also did likewise for their high school graduation ceremony. Apparently it's quite fashionable in some circles, despite the shocked and disapproving look it got from my mother (and probably their own mothers too).

However, when it comes to toilet paper clothing, I would hope that people wearing it would insist on using one of the stronger multi-ply brands that they advertise on TV, and not those cheaper one-ply brands; you know, those horrible kinds that you can poke your finger through and which leaves you hoping that the bathroom is not also out of soap.

I guess wearing clothing made of toilet paper isn't really such a bad thing. After all, if the roll is empty, you can always change the fashion by shortening the hem-line and thereby saving an otherwise perfectly good pair of socks.

Man Versus Bird: Who Is Fooling Who?

I had to laugh when I snapped this picture at work.

Only days before I had a contractor in my office adamant that I needed to invest in several plastic owls for our rooftops in an effort to deal with some troublesome birds that have been creating a lot of damage. I mentioned that we had some owls, but they were completely ineffective. He didn’t seem to believe me.

(For the record, I didn’t hire him)

Apparently the logic behind the owls is that, as predators, smaller species of birds are afraid of owls, and so they avoid the area where these big plastic owls are placed. However, I’m convinced that most birds aren’t totally stupid either. They may be fooled on day one, or perhaps even day two, but after that carry on where they want despite our ruse with the fake owls. Having said that, I was in a store somewhere where I saw large bobble-head owls. With their constant head movement, perhaps they’re more effective, but I doubt it.

Anyways, in the mean time I will continue to be amused by birds perching on the heads of plastic owls. Instead of fooling the birds, maybe we’re the fools for thinking that they could be fooled by an inanimate object made to look like them. 
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After I initially posted this, one of my brothers commented on Facebook:

"Maybe you need to go to the area from where you are trying to scare the birds, and sit in the open eating a plate of scrambled eggs ... just to show the birds what you're capable of!"

Hmm, yeah, that might work. LOL ;)

A Solution to the Suarez Bite Scandal?

Credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

So what is FIFA going to do with Luis Suarez? Clearly Uruguay doesn't want to lose him for the rest of the World Cup, and yet his opponents shouldn't have to get a tetanus shot every time they play against him.

Heavily fine him could work, but I doubt it. Suspend him might also be an option, but I doubt that would work either. He's done it before, and he'll no doubt do so again.

Perhaps the lampoonist creator of this picture is on to something. Luis, do you want to continue playing the world's greatest game? If so then the cone needs to be a part of your uniform. Other sports require some form of head protection, albeit normally for the protection of the athlete himself, and not necessarily for everyone else in the game.

But seriously? What's wrong with this guy? At the very least he should have been red-carded! That's the way I see it anyway.

Thoughts?

Once Upon A Time, In A Supermarket Not So Far Away

Credit: Kevin Dean, http://www.betaart.com/
via Flickr Creative Commons

Once upon a time, in a supermarket not so far away, there was a husband and wife who were doing their weekly shopping, when the husband picked up a case of beer and put it in their cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.

"They're on sale; only $10 for 24 cans," replied the husband.

Feeling somewhat annoyed at what she perceived as her husband's drinking problem, the wife snaps back, "Put them back! We can't afford them!" Submissively the husband listens to his wife and puts the beer back, and they continue shopping.

Photo Source: Unknown (via Facebook)

A few aisles further on, the wife picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the shopping cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked the husband.

"It's my face cream; it makes me look beautiful," replied the wife.

The husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of beer, and it's half the price!"

And that's when they called for the Clean Up in Aisle 5.

Note: Story has been changed from the original. Source unknown. 

The Man Who Became Toast?

Are you bored? Are you looking to do something a little different? Are known for being a little crazy at times? Do you like birds? If so, then this activity may be for you.

Simply get your toaster out and start toasting a few loaves of bread. Actually, you may want to borrow a couple more toasters in order to speed up the process. Attach the bread to an old suit of clothing, drive to the beach, put on the toast-suit, and voila! Be bored no more!

However, for those of us who remember seeing Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, you may want to choose a different boredom reliever, unless of course, you have a death wish. I still remember how that movie scared the s**t out of me! To this day I sometimes still nervously look twice when I see a large flock of birds perched in one area. One thing's for sure, Mary Poppins' Feed the Birds it's not! {{{Shudder}}}

So for those of you who still think wearing a suit of toast to the beach might be kind of fun, and have not yet seen Hitchcock's The Birds, let me leave you with this little nightmare creator. Enjoy (or maybe not).